Happy New Year

Each new year, we look to start anew. We look back at the past year and the sorry mistakes we made and we resolve to do better in the next. We tell ourselves and others (big mistake) that we will live healthier and more altruistic lives. And, of course, by February self-improvement has been buried under a pile of empty cigarette packs and beer bottles.

But some of us look to get a leg up the old-fashioned way: through superstition. Here in Middle Georgia, some folks try to rig the odds for the new year by performing a few folk rituals that are just plain odd. The following conversation I had with a co-worker a couple of years ago might best illustrate my point:

Me: So why do you have to have all your clothes clean for the new year?

Her: I don't know. I'm just supposed to have them clean.

Me: What about the clothes you are wearing New Year's Eve?

Her: I don't know. I guess I'm supposed to go around my house naked New Year's Eve.

Me: Anything else?

Her: Yes. A man has to be the first visitor to my house in the new year. It's supposed to be good luck. And the first meal I am supposed to eat is greens, black-eyed peas and pork.

Me: Why those three staples.

Her: I don't know. I think it's greens for money, black-eyed peas for luck and pork because ... maybe it's just because pigs are for killing. I don't know.

Me: So let me get this straight. This New Year's Eve, you are going to be in your house naked and at midnight you are going to let a man -- any man -- walk into your house and through every room while you are there in nothing but your birthday suit. The two of you will then sit down to eat collards, black-eyed peas and pork. I guess that is a good way to start the new year, because it can only go up from there. And suppose the guy who is traipsing through your house starts stealing everything that isn't nailed down; how is that supposed to bring good luck?

Her: I don't know. At least it would be a good excuse to buy new things. Now shut up, will you? We're about to blow deadline.