More on 24

So Audrey comes back and she's in a fugue state. She's good for looking about skittishly and parroting what her Chinese captors have told her to say, but aside from that she's got all the personality of a bowl of oatmeal. Considering that at least three of the other women who have had sex with Jack Bauer have been killed, Audrey's getting off light.

Unfortunately for the fate of world peace, a vital clue that might help avert World War III is stuck in the bubbling mush that is Audrey's mind. CTU's first impulse is to prise that clue out with psychoactive drugs, but it might push Audrey into the land of Babble forever. Jack decides that where science might harm, love can triumph, so he takes it upon himself to interrogate her. Amazingly, he does not start sticking needles under her fingernails and shout, "Dammit! We're running out of time!" Instead, he speaks to her gently. And she responds ... sort of. He gets one word out of her, which points CTU in the right direction.

But Jack has missed a golden opportunity here. He has a girlfriend who is willing to say whatever he tells her to. He should have taken a few minutes and programmed a few of these into her head:

"I want to have sex with you all the time, Jack."
"You were awesome last night, Jack. Nobody's better than you."
"You were right, Jack. What was I thinking?"
"(Gasp) It's bigger than a baby's arm."
"No, I don't mind if you hang out with your friends on the anniversary of our first date."
"Of course, you can see other women. But I just want you."

As he's being led away, Jack could have then smirked swinishly and said, "Hey, you trying shutting the broad up. She just got a little too much of the Bauer power. Just put her in my bedroom and she'll be fine."