CAT PEOPLE
I have often heard friends and other strange sorts of people identify themselves as "a cat person." That has often struck me as a vague way of saying, "I like cats." so for the sake of linguistic clarity, ask yourself these questions before saying, "I am a cat person."
1. Have I ever brought a cocktail party to grief by obsessively playing with a ball of yarn, skittering about and getting hopelessly tangled?
2. Have I ever shown my romantic partner my appreciation by running into the house with a dead squirrel clamped in my jaws and then deposit the unfortunate rodent under the bed?
3. (For guys only) Have I ever, ah, marked my territory in my new girlfriend's apartment?
4. Have I ever begun running about the house like a madman for no apparent reason?
5. Have I ever leaped onto a bookcase when a dog walked into the room?
6. Have I ever ruined a dinner date by standing over the restaurant aquarium and trying to snatch the fish out?
7. Have I ever slept all day, rising only to eat and sneer at those who care for me, and then stay out all night? (This can also be a sign of being a "teenager person.")
Answering yes to any two of these means you need to stop seeing an internist and start seeing a veterinarian for your annual checkup.
I have often heard friends and other strange sorts of people identify themselves as "a cat person." That has often struck me as a vague way of saying, "I like cats." so for the sake of linguistic clarity, ask yourself these questions before saying, "I am a cat person."
1. Have I ever brought a cocktail party to grief by obsessively playing with a ball of yarn, skittering about and getting hopelessly tangled?
2. Have I ever shown my romantic partner my appreciation by running into the house with a dead squirrel clamped in my jaws and then deposit the unfortunate rodent under the bed?
3. (For guys only) Have I ever, ah, marked my territory in my new girlfriend's apartment?
4. Have I ever begun running about the house like a madman for no apparent reason?
5. Have I ever leaped onto a bookcase when a dog walked into the room?
6. Have I ever ruined a dinner date by standing over the restaurant aquarium and trying to snatch the fish out?
7. Have I ever slept all day, rising only to eat and sneer at those who care for me, and then stay out all night? (This can also be a sign of being a "teenager person.")
Answering yes to any two of these means you need to stop seeing an internist and start seeing a veterinarian for your annual checkup.
posted by John Parnell at 10:47 PM
2 Comments:
Have you ever shed copious amounts of hair over the furniture, necessitating that some other unfortunate person clean it up?
--Anemone
I love this post! My sister has cats and has all these crazy habits that she can't seem to break when dealing with people. She hisses at me to get my attention. It makes me totally crazy.
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